A Few Days In

And I already feel different. I’ve always been a tracker of cals, fat, blah blahblahblahblah. Now, I’m just looking at macronutrients and giving my body more carbs (gasp!) 

I’m really a believer in the power of positive thinking on the body and letting that heal. So, that’s my focus for the next few weeks. Healing and positive thinking. 

Yeah, sure I want to be my ideal of thin but that’s not going to make me happy. So I am happy now. I am happy just as thin as I am. 🙂

I’m watching my blood sugar and it’s in really good ranges, I’m eating three times a day and I’m doing things that I love to work out. I love crossfit when it’s easy (moronic, I know but that’s my truth, it may not be yours), I love rowing and I even like walking after meals. These make me happy, these make me whole. I think thoughts I never did when I was running. I see trees, feel wind and make up stories in my head. I’m focusing on the things that I see and really feel, not on the things that are just mind rambelings of the negative. 

    Yes, it’s scary, but I’m tired of being scared of fat, being scared of too fat, being scared every minute of every fucking day. I had a victory yesterday. 

I never eat out unless I’m with Austin, or I know the menu but yesterday I was out, I was hungry and so I ate at Panera. I didn’t have a big plan, I just went for lunch and then I worked. And it was ok. I did not die. I did not explode. Funny. I even found out that I don’t really care for the Panera chicken. It’s ok though, it’ll do in a pinch. 

  Ok, so I just ate lunch and I’m going for a brief walk. 

 

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