Step one: Decide that having a living tree is just TOO MUCH to deal with. You can’t handle your own life, go to Target, but say you went to a vintage store.
Step two: Make sure the size is right for your bike. If you can’t get it on the bike then you’d have to take the bus, and frankly, public transportation is just that, the public. You are a hipster.
Step Three: Have a local brew you snuck in in your nap-sack (not pictured)
Step Four: Smell the tree, for no reason.
Forty bucks? Sounds good.
Step Five: Chop down the tree and honor the earth spirits that give this gift to you!
Step Six: Time to go home. It’s almost happy hour. (I operate under the assumption that hipsters only drink and listen to the Decembrists and My Morning Jacket)
Step Seven: Set-up said tree and photograph it with HAND-STRUNG popcorn chain, that seriously took me quite a while.