1st world problems

Well, it’s back.

The challenge is done so some, but not all, of my extra weight is back. 

It’s shitty. Really shitty. 

I haven’t added anything crazy into my diet other than a glass of wine and maybe a tiny bit of SF syrup on my bacon. I know, it’s probably my body adjusting back to wine and a few other foods but it’s frustrating. 

I eat really well, I take care of myself by working out and playing and having fun but it’s just terribly frustrating to be no better than I was a year ago when I did my very extreme diet. A year ago I thought I was hefty enough to undergo a very popular doctor-controlled diet and I lost all the weight I wanted to! It was great. I looked good, I felt great and I didn’t have to worry about it, right? Wrong. I worried every day. EVERY. DAY. I would wake up and the first thing I would think about was weighing myself! It caused me heart palpitations, well maybe not palpitations but I regularly woke up with a very fast heart beat. 

  Now, I’m back around 143 ug. And hating it. I’m strong, I’m fast (getting faster) but my clothes still don’t fit they way they did 10 lbs ago. I would understand if I was at this weight and my clothes were fitting really well, but they aren’t. It’s obviously not that slim muscle I hear about. If it was my pants would be a bit more loose. 

  Now they rub, now they make me uncomfortable and now I am not happy with parts of my body. I try to be, but then the scale kicks me in the face. Why do I do it? Well, part of me needs to. I need to know where I’m at so I can figure out how far I am from where I want to be. And part of me is still disordered. Part of me still wants to have control over the uncontrollable. That part thinks that if I check the scale 30 mins later it will say something different. This part of me won’t have water in the morning, or coffee until I’ve weighed myself. 

This extra weight could also be salty food from the Whole Foods Superbowl Salad and tiny pieces of curry chicken I had. That’s right. I ate a SALAD…at the SUPERBOWL PARTY. Gaining weight is just not fair when a person has done that. Not fair at all. Ah, first world problems. 

So much for slim monday. 

Thursday

Breakfast: Eggs, two pieces of bacon and sliced avocado

Lunch: Veggie salad: pepper, tomato, salad greens, avocado and mustard and hard boiled eggs for protein!

Dinner: Oysters, coconut butter 1T. and a scoop of super green powder

Snack: 1 oz. cashews, coconut milk.

 

So glad this is done! So glad we did it but I’m so glad it’s over! Yipee! It’s wine time!

Tuesday and Wednesday

These last few days are the hardest for me. I wish I wasn’t such a complainer, I’m not normally this bad in my everyday life. I like to think I can take most things as they come, but this diet, this extreme paleo-challenge has been very limiting. I miss the other things that I can’t have. Not bread, still not sugar, not crackers and not dairy. I miss the things under the primal life that I’ve come to love: Stevia, straight coconut milk, and a few condiments. 

  I’m not missing wine but I am missing flavor in my coffee. I’m excited to be doing this with my husband who has learned a lot as well. I’m happy that I’ve done it, I’ve been able to go all 30 days without the things that I thought made me happy. 

Go figure. 

Wednesday:

B: Two eggs and bacon

L: Salad with 1/4 avocado, mustard, tomato and bell pepper

D: fish grilled, on lettuce, tomato

Snack: 1/2 ounce cashews, coconut butter

Dessert: Coconut milk and blueberries

Tuesday: Two eggs for breakfast

Lunch: Tin of oysters

Dinner: Home made chicken curry and a fried egg with cauliflower (charred) 

Sunday, Monday and Funday, er…Tuesday.

Tuesday I was not hungry at all, even thought I made myself eat in the evening. 

Breakfast: one tin of oysters

Lunch: One tin of oysters and two hard boiled eggs

Dinner: 1 oz of cashews and 3 oz. chicken

Snack: one pack of Coconut butter and 1 1/2 oz pumpkin seeds

Monday: Breakfast: Eggs, bacon, tomato and spinach

I was not hungry till about 4 or 5 and then I had a carrot with cashew butter 

Dinner was a tin of oysters and 1 and 1/2 apples with cashew butter

The rest of Sunday was chicken and mixed veggies for lunch and dinner. 

The veggies were brussel sprouts and bell peppers. 

All the weeks!

Ok, I’m going to work backwards from this morning until Wednesday! It will feel like time travel. I promise. Ok, maybe not.

Sunday morning:

Breakfast/Brunch with friends: Three poached eggs and bacon and ham. Can you say booty by Bacon?

Lots of coffee and lot’s of tea (green, white, black) I’m just so colorblind!

Snack: Greens pack and some coconut butter

Saturday: Early Breakfast-Hard boiled egg

Lunch: Another hard-boiled egg and a tin of oysters (feel the variety)

Dinner: Salad greens with a burger from Biker Jim’s and a fried egg on top

Snack: Cashews and celery

Friday:

B: Two eggs and bacon

Lunch: Two eggs and greens with a tin of oysters!

Dinner: I had a stomach ache so I just made some warm ground beef and steamed broccoli with carrots

Snack: A little bit of coconut butter

Thursday: I decided to do an IF day because I wasn’t hungry at breakfast, or at lunch so I had a 10oz. Sirloin for dinner with a big fat tomato and some ghee.

Delicious.

Wednesday:

B: Just a mug of eggs

L: Omlette with bell peppers and tomatoes

Dinner: 8oz ground beef with Brussel sprouts and ghee (another delicious choice) I love Brussel Sprouts!! So green, so good.

Wow, so 9 Days left?

Okie dokie. Here we go, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday!

   Sunday was a nice big breakfast of spinach and eggs

  Lunch was light, some cashews and carrots with a tin of oyster (can you tell I love stinky fish?)

  Dinner was delicious grassfed beef and brusslesprouts

Monday was much same:

Breakfast: Uncured sausage and eggs with spinach in bacon drippings

   Lunch was nuts and coconut butter 

Dinner was yam fries and beef again, double yum. 

Today, back at work I forgot my breakfast and lunch so I had to improvise. 

This morning and afternoon I made an egg-mug with veggies (something I have been needing more of)

Early dinner snack was a bit of chicken and some tomatoes after my workout

Dinner was Ono fish and the last of our asparagus (won’t be buying that again too soon)

Dessert was some coconut milk creamer I’ve been working on and some carrots with cashew butter

If I don’t win this challenge, it’s not a big deal, I’ve gained a lot of insight during this and I’ve become to realize things about my body I never thought possible. I hope to keep going down this good caveman path. 

Tuesday Thru Sunday (20 days down)

I was not really hungry at all this week, which is odd, because I love food and I love eating! Highly distressing seeing as how I work out 6 days a week and I feel like I should be hungry more often. For the sake of Pete! I work in a grocery store! Anyway, here is my kinda boring food for this week. 

Tuesday 

B: Eggs and bacon

L: Tuna and a green salad with homemade dressing

D:Strip loin steak

 

Wednesday

B:Kale and eggs

L: Salad with Strip loin meat (Leftover)

D: Salad and hardboiled eggs

 

Thursday

B: Eggs

L: Salad and tuna

D: Avocados and roasted Chicken

 

Friday

B: Eggs and bacon

L: Salad with dressing and oysters

D: Roasted chicken (leftovers)

 

Saturday:

B: Eggs and bacon

L: Oysters and veggies

D: Burger with a fried egg and cauliflower 

 

Sunday:

I got tickets to the book of Mormon and I had to trek to the coffee shop to get good reception. It was COMPLETELY WORTH IT! I am so excited and so happy about getting these tickets! I know it’s months away but I’m already planning that whole week out!

B: Two eggs (too nervous to eat)

L: Coffee date, seaweed and savi seeds

D: Chicken thighs and mixed veggies with salad, cinnamon on butternut squash

Dessert: Sunflower butter and coconut butter

Sunday and Monday

Monday’s food was rather boring as I was running all over town

Breakfast: Eggs and bacon

Lunch: salad with chicken

Dinner: ground buffalo

Snacks were/are pretty much the same: greens and cashews with some coconut butter thrown in for good measure.

Tuesday was a work day and a little more interesting as the food goes…

Breakfast: Eggs and overcooked bacon

Lunch: Tuna with salad and veggies and homemade dressing (I really had no idea how easy it is to make dressing that rocks)

Dinner: Strip loin steak and kale sautéed in bacon drippings.

I wanted to post about my body and all of the sensations that I’m getting in touch with right now (tee hee). Really! I was able to feel my flow (gross to some but startling and true to me) and then last night it hit me. I had my moment.

Maybe it was all the fat I have been eating recently, maybe it’s the paleo side in me coming out, maybe it was just one of those things but last night was my turning point. I didn’t want the foods I usually crave in the evening. I didn’t want anything sweet, I didn’t want any bread, no crackers, no jams, nothing. It struck me that this is what my body wants and needs to eat. It has been waiting to eat this way for a long, long time and it’s taken me quite a while to find it.

I went through low-cal, no-cal, weight watchers, Atkins, I attempted mindful eating but my mind always wanted more.

This time my body is telling me something different. The workouts are shorter and more intense, the body is not losing weight but it’s reshaping. SOMETHING is going on. I stood in the shower last night wondering if I should have another snack and my body told me NO in a very clear voice. Perhaps it’s the ghrelin (sp?) finally able to speak since i’ve been away from all kinds of sugar for so long. Who knows? I only know that I feel different. Today a bit more anxious, like something is coming but I have no idea from where, or why. I’ll have to play today cautious because if I don’t my worry can get the best of me.

But now I’m going out for a quick sprint exercise. Exercise always makes me feel better, and while I still feel like I have to do it I don’t feel like I need to work out for hours and hours. It’s grey outside so I had better get going.

Wednesday Through Saturday and a bit o’ today!

Let’s see, we are almost half way through this thing and Austin and I are finding that we’re not as hungry. We want food it just seems to get redundant when we’ve reached this point. It’s very limited and frustrating. I’ll expound more on that but here’s my food for the week:

 

Wed: NOT hungry at all

Breakfast: Kale in Bacon drippings

Lunch: just a tin of oysters with olive oil

Dinner: eggs and some coconut butter

Thursday:

Breakfast: Eggs and bacon

Lunch: Salad and seafood

Dinner: baked pork and some mixed veggies

Friday: Another not too hungry day and (TMI, first day of cycle)

Breakfast: Eggs (no bacon!)

Lunch: Just oysters again (boring but yummy and oh so quick on a lunch break)

Dinner: Pork chops cooked in bacon drippings.

Snacks: Savi seeds and cashew butter

Dessert: strawberries and coconut milk (The good kind NATURAL VALUE)

SATURDAY: We do a dinner Detective Murder mystery in the evening and we work in the morning so food is really messed up on these days. I tend to eat very little when I work and work goes until around 11 pm.

Breakfast: Eggs and bacon

Lunch: ground beef and onions grilled

Dinner: Chicken and eggs and cashew butter for some extra fat and sugar balance

Sunday: FINALLY A DAY OFF!!

Breakfast out! : Poached eggs and bacon with mixed sauteed veggies and guac!

 

Back to more of the philosophical issues Austin and I are dealing with.

While we were out walking today we discussed about how we don’t CRAVE foods anymore but we are terribly frustrated with the redundancy of foods. It’s so cold that it makes getting salads and greens in difficult with our schedule. We do it, we’re not complaining here, just talking about the challenges that we face.

It’s a mental cleanse more than a physical cleanse in some ways. You are forced (by choice) to limit the foods you eat. In this modern world it’s hard being gluten-free but to limit it further by grains, butter, cheese etc. it’s kind of a mind fuck. I like the way I feel and I noticed small changes everyday. I admire the strength in by myself and my husband for taking this challenge so seriously! Still, every day seems to be a cost/benefit analysis. If I eat this, what will it do to me? If I choose not to eat this, will I be doing myself a favor?

On the good side, my workouts are becoming more intense and productive. I am feeling stronger and the funny looks at the gym crack me up. I’m glad I don’t have any problem doing quick workouts that look ridiculous. I love intensity in life and passion and this has brought about a chance to look at what my true passion is.

I work in the health food industry and I am happy doing what I do. I love helping people who are ready to make a change and I love educating so I am looking on making a change in that direction. That’s all I have for now. But all-in-all I’ve enjoyed the opportunity this challenge has given me. Also, I’m soooo ready for some stevia in my coffee in three weeks!!!

 

 

 

Monday and Tuesday

Monday is my Sunday so I didn’t do as much as I normally would on a workday. 

I had a nice quick egg for breakfast 

lunch was some tinned oysters and a small salad

dinner was almost the tail end of the chicken curry

Tuesday: two eggs and two bacons!

Lunch was the same, oysters and salad

Dinner was awesome, Austin made up bacon with asparagus spears, mashed cauliflower, and baked chicken. It really was amazing. 

Dessert was toasted cashews and coconut. 

I’m still feeling hungry during the day so I try to eat more coconut butter and oils. I don’t miss the sweets at all but I do miss something of flavor in my coffee except for cinnamon. But still, the desire wanes. I’m proud of us for doing this and I do feel my energy level going up but I wish the weight would come off faster (what woman doesn’t). 

It’s not like a silly desire like that is going to keep me from completing this. I’ve done things harder than this and a little lack of sugar isn’t going to deter me! Mwahahahahhaha